1. |
canola fields
03:24
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i thought i was done with self-sabotage
in the same way i thought i was done with boys
i just don't care about moments in the same way i used to
lately my racing mind won't shut up
and my racing heart won't slow down
and i can't keep up with anything
i thought today was yesterday but it's already tomorrow again
there's no escaping the mess i'm in
it's the same place i've always been
no blurred stretches of canola fields
could take me away from here
i thought i was done with trying
in the same way i thought i was done with beer
i just don't care about memories in the same way i used to
i keep forgetting about the things that make me happy
and the things that make me feel anything at all
i don't recall the way the summer air felt as it tickled my face
and i don't recall the way the sunlight hit your face
as the shadow of me laid over you
and a thought climbed into my mind like an ant into an anthill
i think i might love you
there's no escaping the mess i'm in
it's the same place i've always been
no blurred stretches of canola fields
could take me away from here
i thought i was done with lying to myself
and everyone i care about
part of me just doesn't care
and the other part of me just wants to be right here
next to you
i've been wearing my sadness on my sleeve
if i'm going down it's going down with me
and i hope we don't take you down with us too
there's no escaping the mess we're in
it's the same place i've always been
no blurred stretches of canola fields
could take us away from here
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2. |
space
04:00
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i was so excited to get their setlist after their show
and i asked every member of the band to sign it before they go
they were the openers
so i was there to stay for at least a little bit more
i stood around and watched some guys
drink themselves into a fit
one guy saw i had the setlist
he said "holy shit, can i see it?"
i said "sure" and showed it to him
with a steady two hand grip
and he said
"woah, why'd you get that third guy to sign it ?
he's not really an og member of the band.
you really shouldn't have gotten him to sign it."
i said "hey buddy, that's some shit i already know,
but i really don't care
because this is the show
where i saw this band for the very first time
and this is how i want to remember it."
he said "i really don't think you like this band very much.
you should know this shit
and you should keep their name sacred."
then he wouldn't shut up about how excited he was
for the flatties to play
and ran out for a quick smoke break
i took his spot right by the stage
and eventually the flatties played
and i had the greatest time
i screamed
i yelled
and got punched in the face (in the best possible way)
i was leaving the show that night
when i saw that guy outside
he was talking to his friends
about how he couldn't see shit
from where he was standing
and how the show wasn't really that great
and he was talking shit about the annoying people that he hates
and in that moment i hoped i would never be as bitter as him
but here's the thing:
sometimes i get nervous
when i see my favourite bands
and i'm the only person in the venue
who looks like me
and sometimes when people's passion
interferes with my personal space
i get real nervous
and i'd really like to move out of their way
but i feel stuck there
so i'll do my best to enjoy it
but when the show is over
i just might outside the venue
and talk shit about the quote-unquote posers
and when the night is over
i'll crawl into my bed
and whisper all the things
i wish i actually had said
like i love the space and the atmosphere
and everybody's really weird hair
but i don't feel like this space is for me
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3. |
be happy
02:21
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i just want to hang with my friends
dance until our feet become dead
and wait outside in the frigid november winters
to get a spot in the front row of our favourite bands' show
i just want to pierce my ears fourteen more times
one for every year that passed
before i realized that i'm my own person
and not just someone's daughter
i just want to get a tattoo
to commemorate my stubbornness
and my admiration
of angry, juvenile, white-boy rock
i just want to spend my weekdays
working my ass of to get a 2.7
and spend my weekends working
to get a 0.27% blood alcohol level
pass out so i can pass every test
i just want to confidently chat
with my favourite lyricists after their shows
and not feel like i am wasting their time
after all everyone just wants to be loved or at least feel love
i just want to be happy
but don't we all
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4. |
my home
04:26
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all remember of high school
are the songs i listened to
the movies i loved
and the books i half-read
in five years time i wonder what will make me feel nostalgic
maybe it'll be the punk shows
or the people i've ghosted
or the men who've talked over me
maybe it'll be the poems i've written
or the songs i've sung
or the post sunset heart to hearts
every time i add a new decoration to my wall
i think about how soon i'll be taking it down
five months will fly by
so i might as well try
to enjoy the time and space i have while it's here
and it's my home
all i remember of community college
are the round corners i cried in
when failure felt like the only thing i could achieve
and the friends i held onto
and the beers we'd chug before our physics labs
in five years time i wonder what will make me feel nostalgic
maybe it'll be the punk shows
or the people i've ghosted
or the men who've talked over me
maybe it'll be the poems i've written
or the songs i've sung
or the post sunset heart to hearts
every time i add a new decoration to my body
i think about how i've made forever feel a little more tangible
five years will fly by
so i might as well try
to enjoy the time and space i have while it's here
and it's my home
all i remember of waking up next to you
was your putrid morning breath
and the way your hair fell over your eyes
and the sense of urgency that quickly changed to dread
as you tried to disguise your bragging rights
in five years time i wonder what will make you feel nostalgic
maybe it'll be Garneau's combat juice
or the people who've ghosted you
or the folks you've never bothered to listen to
maybe it'll be the poems you've read
or the songs you've heard
or the post sunset heart to hearts
every time you add a new tally to your wall
i hope you know that we can't wait to see you fall
five hundred years could fly by
but there would never be enough time
for me to scrub off the remnants of you
so i might as well try
to enjoy the time and place i have while it's here
and it's my home
this is my home.
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Stem Champ
Stem Champ playfully captures the joys of a summer night spent biking around with pals, tender late night conversations, and
falling in love with the person you’re becoming.
These days Stem Champ (live) plays as a 4-piece making music somewhere in the lane of emo-tinged indie-rock.
... more
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